Here we are, three weeks into 2016. Are you still going to the gym daily? Have you cursed your boss under your breath yet? Did you call your mother?! While those are relatively good and responsible resolutions to have, let’s be real for a minute. There are some things that reeeeally should have been left in 2015, but are clearly still lingering! That’s what I’m here for. Or should I say that’s what we’re here for. I teamed up with a few funny ladies in the bloggin’ biz for their input on the “Things to Leave in 2015” list.
Meet the ladies:
Lauren – minimalist and edgy, this girl lives in the most fab trailer you’ll ever see. No, really. Check her out @laurenjadelately or her personal site! As if she couldn’t get any more cool-girl on us, she owns her own business and creates some impressive artwork too. Oh.
Sophia – a former athletic trainer who never turns down Mexican food. She’s relatable, honest, and wears tulle skirts with complete confidence. This one has personality for days. Catch up with her @sophiamariexx or here!
Kathleen – the classic girl next door who lives for puns, who might also be Kate Middleton (never seen ’em in the same place, so…) She’s exactly what her blog emulates: witty, wise, and humble. Head over to her blog or @kathleensportsman!
Me – The funniest person you’ll ever meet. Just kidding. This was just an excuse to post a picture of me looking my best. All modeling inquiries, please contact my assistant.
Sophia: Ugly Unmentionables
Get rid of old underwear. Cute jungle animals should have no place in your underwear repertoire. Let’s make them a little more mature, and, yes I’m gonna say it… sexy! Take notes boys, because this applies to you too. Yours may be solid colors and look relatively new, but you’re boys so…
Me: Bucket Hats
Ya aint cute. Ya definitely aint hip. I will rip it off, barf in it, then place it back on your dumb head, like any real lady should.
Kathleen: Kylie Jenner
2012 was the year of the duck lip pose. 2015 was the year of the human duck lip. I fear Kylie Jenner has won adoration and admiration from impressionable girls for all the wrong reasons: injecting too much lip plumper and posting pictures of her butt on Instagram. What? Please let’s leave mindless, plastic idols in 2015. We don’t need ’em in 2016.
Me: Ungodly Amounts Of Contouring Makeup
I get seriously terrified every time I see a picture of someone before and after contouring. Isn’t makeup supposed to accentuate your features, not completely mask and replace them? There really is no reason to spend an hour on making sure your face has hard lines and angles – a face should not require geometry. By all means, spend time on yourself and feel good about yourself, but that shouldn’t mean tirelessly painting your face with triangles and circles. Less is more – You’re a 10 without the contour, ladies!
Kathleen: Parading Illegal Hobbies for Attention
Look at me, I smoke weed. Dear Lord, help me get right with You before I see one more self-proclaimed *~rastaman~* post a picture of marijuana in a rainbow gradient filter, or even worse, a video of smoke so rudely being blown into our faces. Don’t get me started on clothing with *leaves* plastered all over it either. Oh, do you smoke weed? I had no idea. Next time I have a glass of wine, I’ll try to remember **brain cells willing** to post a video of myself gulping it down. Just so you know I drink alcohol.
Lauren: Useless Viral Internet Debates
I never participated in the blue dress/gold dress debacle for obvious reasons. I have better things to do than spend my time wondering about a possibly photoshopped dress. Can we go a year or two (or forever) without these ridiculous arguments clogging up our feeds?
On a slightly more serious note, let’s leave fear in 2015. Fear of the unknown, fear of what people are going to think or say, fear of feeling uncomfortable, fear of letting go, fear of letting yourself become you’er than you, in the words of Dr. Seuss. Fear is probably the most influential of human emotion and definitely the most hindering. In 2016, though, let’s let go and let God take us into a beautiful season of our lives. Let’s become who we know we’re capable of becoming and do what we know we’re capable of doing – fearlessly!
Me and Sophia: Not Listening to Justin Bieber because He’s Justin Bieber
Although he slipped up in the past, asked the world for forgiveness (um don’t ask us, ask Jesus!?), then continued on his questionable path… Come on you guys! We all have demons, what makes us any different? Stop resisting his new stuff because of his old pre-pubescent lyrics! Just listen to the man. Need I say more? I meaaannnn.
For those of you who have yet to get rid of anything listed above, the world is waiting. More importantly, I’m waiting. Jokes, but we’d love to know which of these you agree or disagree on! If you already got rid of your bucket hat, have been steering clear of internet arguments, and you’d rather just make a positive resolution instead of cutting things out, check out how I weigh in on non-resolution resolutions.